Sex, Bread, and Spirits
A friend had some relatives visiting and she wanted to get her friends a reading and set it up with me. It was her sister-in-law - her brother’s wife - and her sister that were visiting from Toronto.
I set out to do these readings like I would any other. As the readings begin, I explain what the runes are and how I do what I do, as best I can. The first reading was my friend’s sister-in-law. It was a great, light-hearted reading...one where I talked to her about her past, her 20’s, her current job, how she’s allergic to cats but works in a vet’s office, and more.
Her sister’s reading was another story altogether. I begin my readings by connecting with a person by holding their hand and taking three deep breaths together. As soon as I connect with someone, I’ll start to feel impressions, and my first impression of this woman (let’s call her Norma) was that she was full of pain and in desperate need of Reiki. I told her so, and she said she had a lot of hurt in her life, so it made sense to her that I would say that.
I cast my runes and started my reading. I cast the runes out onto a white cloth and read the ones that are face up. In addition to the deep amount of pain she was in, Norma was walking around with a perpetual broken heart.
Up until this point, I considered myself a psychic. Every once in a while I would have spirits come through to me, but I never called myself a medium, as I couldn’t consistently promise spirits would come through to me. My experience with Norma and her reading was the most powerful experience I’d yet had with a spirit who was clearly speaking to me.
I told Norma that she had a broken heart, a perpetual one, like it was a chronic ailment, a fatal disease she had. Norma then told me she lost her husband a few years back to cancer, so that would explain it.
As soon as I tuned into the runes, my reading was taken over by Norma’s husband. I told her that she had a significant amount of healing to do and that she was standing in the way of it - in the words of her husband, she needed to “cut the shit and get off her bum.” When I asked Norma if her husband would talk to her like that, she said absolutely.
And from there, we were off. I can’t really put into words what happens when a spirit comes into my head but it’s very similar to the process of hearing my own voice in my head, but with someone else’s voice. I know that’s a poor explanation, but that’s really like what it is - I tell people it’s like I have an FM receiver in my head and I don’t know what kind of station I’m going to tune into with a reading.
Very shortly into my reading, I could sense her broken heart wasn’t ONLY about the husband she lost, but had to do with children. Norma then told me she lost two little girls. The heartache was great within this woman, to a degree I couldn’t personally fathom.
During my readings, I can often tell when a person has energetic tethers connected to other people, especially with dysfunctional relationships. Norma had a cord attached to her husband, and from what I could tell, this cord stopped her husband from completely passing over. I asked if she could still smell him, even though it’s been years since he’s passed, and she said yes, even though she shouldn’t be able to. She smells him a lot in bed, even though she got a new one and new sheets.
While this reading was one where I picked up on the usual - traumas, loved ones, high emotions - this reading (and my head) were quickly taken over by Norma’s husband. His main message for her that he was sending to me was that she needed to move on...she was going to lead a long, healthy life but needed to let him go, as she was doing the opposite of healing.
And Norma’s husband then proceeded to give me clear, tangible examples of their love together, and all of them I relayed to her. They used to have a running joke about their early mornings together, where he had to get up super early for his job and she didn’t. He told me about the date he took her out on in a boat, when they first started dating. He let me know that he was a track star in college, which Norma didn’t really know about, but she did confirm he was an avid runner in his adult life.
The jokes - and the love - just kept coming through, more and more. They had an inside joke about ketchup, they had a running joke about salt and pepper. He loved salt too much and she convinced him to switch over to pepper, which he then fell in love with and would apply like he did with salt. He even let me know what the nickname he used to call her.
And through it all, it was a reminder that he was still there but she was keeping him a little closer than she should. She would have conversations with him, her daughters, her parents and her brother that she lost, every day. While I’m all for someone grieving however they need to, Norma was holding onto her loved ones a little too tightly...she had one foot very firmly planted in the other world but the one she had in this world was loose, and getting looser. Norma’s husband had a very clear message - grieve, heal, and move on with your life. Norma was doing the opposite of what her husband would want - and she knew it: her husband would want her to move on, to heal, to get better. She was doing everything she could to do the opposite, and he told her so, through me.
And after all of this, all of these very clear examples of what Norma’s relationship was like with her husband, he wanted me to pass along one more example...and that’s where it got really personal.
One of the hurdles I had to get over when doing readings was to get out of my own way in my head - no matter how odd, no matter how out of place, no matter how much it doesn’t make sense, I should say it. Shutting off the filter in my head and letting the images, words, feelings, and impressions flow was very much a breakthrough for me.
And this is where it got really personal between me and Norma - when I didn’t question what was in my head. What I had to tell her was very personal, and I let her know that it was about to get so.
Here’s how our conversation went:
Me: “You and your husband used to make bread, yes?”
Norma: “We did, but not regularly. Only for holidays or something like that.”
Me: “Okay, here’s where it gets personal. I’ve never made a loaf of bread in my life but I get the idea. You and your husband would mix the bread dough, and as you were waiting for it to rise, you would go and make love. When you were all done, you’d go put it in the oven and let it bake.”
Norma: “We did...”
Norma and I were both in tears. Norma’s husband came through with that last example as a way to show her that he was really there. He had one last message for her - that she should move on and find new love in her life...but don’t “be stupid like you were with all the ones before me.”
Norma laughed at that, because he was right: she made questionable decisions around men before she met her husband, and he didn’t want her to repeat that.
I don’t know what happened to Norma - I heard she loved her reading and was blown away by it, and that as soon as her vacation was done, she went home to Toronto.
Wherever she ended up, I only hope she got to work on mending that broken heart...and that she finds someone else in life to make bread with.
Just like her husband wanted her to.